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പഴയ ഒരു ഇന്റർവ്യൂ കഥ

മൈക്രോസോഫ്റ്റ് കോർപ്പറേഷന് പുതിയൊരു ചെയർമാനെ കണ്ടെത്താനായി ബിൽ ഗേറ്റ്സ് ഒരിക്കൽ ഒരു ഇന്റർവ്യൂ സംഘടിപ്പിക്കുകയുണ്ടായി. 5000 ഉദ്യോഗാർത്ഥികൾ ഒരു വലിയ റൂമിൽ അങ്ങനെ ഒന്നിച്ചു ചേർന്നു.

അതിൽ ഒരാൾ കേരളത്തിൽ നിന്നുള്ള സുഗീഷ് ആയിരുന്നു

ബിൽ ഗേറ്റ്സ്: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.

കേട്ടപാടെ ജാവ അറിയാത്ത 2000 ആൾക്കാർ സ്ഥലം കാലിയാക്കി.

സുഗീഷ് മനസ്സിൽ പറഞ്ഞു, ‘ജാവയോ? അത് എന്തര് സാധനം?, ങാ, എന്തര് ആയാലെന്ത്; തനിക്കൊന്നും നഷ്ടപ്പെടാനില്ലല്ല്… ഇവിടെതന്നെ നിന്നേക്കാം’

ബിൽ ഗേറ്റ്സ്: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave.

വീണ്ടും രണ്ടായിരം ആൾക്കാർ സ്ഥലം വിട്ടു.
സുഗീഷ് മനസ്സിലോർത്തു: “ജീവിതത്തില് ഒരുത്തമ്മാരേം നമ്മള് മാനേജു ചെയ്തിട്ടില്ല. വയസ്സുകളും മറ്റും ഇത്രേമായിട്ടും ഒര് പെണ്ണിനെപ്പോലും കെട്ടിയില്ല. എങ്കിലെന്തര്? നമ്മക്കെന്ത് നഷ്ടങ്ങളും മറ്റും വരാനക്കൊണ്ട്. ഇവിടെത്തന്നെ നിക്കാം.”

ബിൽ ഗേറ്റ്സ്: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave.

ശേഷിച്ചവരിൽ അഞ്ഞൂറുപേർ കൂടി ആ റൂമിൽ നിന്നും ഇറങ്ങിപ്പോയി..

സുഗീഷ് തന്റെ കോളേജ് ജീവിതം ഓർത്ത് മനസ്സിൽ ഒന്നു ചിരിച്ചു, തള്ളേ, കലിപ്പ് തന്നെ!! എന്തായാലും അവൻ ആ റൂം വിട്ട് പോവാൻ കൂട്ടാക്കിയില്ല.

അവസാനമായി ബിൽ ഗേറ്റ്സ് Serbo-Croat എന്ന ഭാഷ സംസാരിക്കാനറിയാത്തവരൊക്കെ പൊയ്ക്കോളൂ എന്നു പറഞ്ഞു. ശേഷിച്ചവരിൽ 498 പേർ അതു കേട്ടിട്ട് തിരിച്ചു പോയി; അവരാരും തന്നെ ജീവിതത്തിൽ കേട്ടിട്ടുപോലുമില്ലാത്ത ഒരു ഭാഷയായിരുന്നു അത്.

സുഗീഷ് ഓർത്തു: “നേരെചൊവ്വേ ഇംഗ്ലീഷും മറ്റും സംസാരിക്കാനറിയില്ല. പിന്നെയാ അവന്റെ കുഞ്ഞമ്മേഡേ Serbo-Croat കള്. എന്തരായാലും ഇവിടെത്തന്നെ നിക്കാം.” സുഗീഷ് ചുറ്റും നോക്കിയപ്പോൾ ബിൽഗേറ്റ്സിനെ കൂടാതെ വേറൊരുത്തൻ കൂടി അവിടെ ചുറ്റിപ്പറ്റി നിൽക്കുന്നതു കണ്ടു!!

ബിൽഗേറ്റ്സിനു സന്തോഷമായി രണ്ടുപേരെ കിട്ടിയല്ലോ! അദ്ദേഹം പറഞ്ഞു ‘Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo-Croat, so I’d now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.’

കേൾക്കേണ്ട താമസം സുഗീഷ് തിരിഞ്ഞ് മറ്റവനോട് ചോദിച്ച്: “നാട്ടിൽ എവടരെ അപ്പീ വീടുകള്.”
മറ്റയാൾ: “അങ്ങ് വടക്ക് കാസ്രോഡാണ്, ഒടയഞ്ചാൽ എന്നു പറയും.”

Excel Functions | എക്സൽ ഫങ്ഷൻസ്

The following sections list all of the worksheet functions by category.

Database functions

Function Description
DAVERAGE Returns the average of selected database entries
DCOUNT Counts the cells that contain numbers in a database
DCOUNTA Counts nonblank cells in a database
DGET Extracts from a database a single record that matches the specified criteria
DMAX Returns the maximum value from selected database entries
DMIN Returns the minimum value from selected database entries
DPRODUCT Multiplies the values in a particular field of records that match the criteria in a database
DSTDEV Estimates the standard deviation based on a sample of selected database entries
DSTDEVP Calculates the standard deviation based on the entire population of selected database entries
DSUM Adds the numbers in the field column of records in the database that match the criteria
DVAR Estimates variance based on a sample from selected database entries
DVARP Calculates variance based on the entire population of selected database entries

Date and time functions

Function Description
DATE Returns the serial number of a particular date
DATEVALUE Converts a date in the form of text to a serial number
DAY Converts a serial number to a day of the month
DAYS360 Calculates the number of days between two dates based on a 360-day year
EDATE Returns the serial number of the date that is the indicated number of months before or after the start date
EOMONTH Returns the serial number of the last day of the month before or after a specified number of months
HOUR Converts a serial number to an hour
MINUTE Converts a serial number to a minute
MONTH Converts a serial number to a month
NETWORKDAYS Returns the number of whole workdays between two dates
NOW Returns the serial number of the current date and time
SECOND Converts a serial number to a second
TIME Returns the serial number of a particular time
TIMEVALUE Converts a time in the form of text to a serial number
TODAY Returns the serial number of today’s date
WEEKDAY Converts a serial number to a day of the week
WEEKNUM Converts a serial number to a number representing where the week falls numerically with a year
WORKDAY Returns the serial number of the date before or after a specified number of workdays
YEAR Converts a serial number to a year
YEARFRAC Returns the year fraction representing the number of whole days between start_date and end_date

Engineering functions

Function Description
BESSELI Returns the modified Bessel function In(x)
BESSELJ Returns the Bessel function Jn(x)
BESSELK Returns the modified Bessel function Kn(x)
BESSELY Returns the Bessel function Yn(x)
BIN2DEC Converts a binary number to decimal
BIN2HEX Converts a binary number to hexadecimal
BIN2OCT Converts a binary number to octal
COMPLEX Converts real and imaginary coefficients into a complex number
CONVERT Converts a number from one measurement system to another
DEC2BIN Converts a decimal number to binary
DEC2HEX Converts a decimal number to hexadecimal
DEC2OCT Converts a decimal number to octal
DELTA Tests whether two values are equal
ERF Returns the error function
ERFC Returns the complementary error function
GESTEP Tests whether a number is greater than a threshold value
HEX2BIN Converts a hexadecimal number to binary
HEX2DEC Converts a hexadecimal number to decimal
HEX2OCT Converts a hexadecimal number to octal
IMABS Returns the absolute value (modulus) of a complex number
IMAGINARY Returns the imaginary coefficient of a complex number
IMARGUMENT Returns the argument theta, an angle expressed in radians
IMCONJUGATE Returns the complex conjugate of a complex number
IMCOS Returns the cosine of a complex number
IMDIV Returns the quotient of two complex numbers
IMEXP Returns the exponential of a complex number
IMLN Returns the natural logarithm of a complex number
IMLOG10 Returns the base-10 logarithm of a complex number
IMLOG2 Returns the base-2 logarithm of a complex number
IMPOWER Returns a complex number raised to an integer power
IMPRODUCT Returns the product of from 2 to 29 complex numbers
IMREAL Returns the real coefficient of a complex number
IMSIN Returns the sine of a complex number
IMSQRT Returns the square root of a complex number
IMSUB Returns the difference between two complex numbers
IMSUM Returns the sum of complex numbers
OCT2BIN Converts an octal number to binary
OCT2DEC Converts an octal number to decimal
OCT2HEX Converts an octal number to hexadecimal

Financial functions

Function Description
ACCRINT Returns the accrued interest for a security that pays periodic interest
ACCRINTM Returns the accrued interest for a security that pays interest at maturity
AMORDEGRC Returns the depreciation for each accounting period by using a depreciation coefficient
AMORLINC Returns the depreciation for each accounting period
COUPDAYBS Returns the number of days from the beginning of the coupon period to the settlement date
COUPDAYS Returns the number of days in the coupon period that contains the settlement date
COUPDAYSNC Returns the number of days from the settlement date to the next coupon date
COUPNCD Returns the next coupon date after the settlement date
COUPNUM Returns the number of coupons payable between the settlement date and maturity date
COUPPCD Returns the previous coupon date before the settlement date
CUMIPMT Returns the cumulative interest paid between two periods
CUMPRINC Returns the cumulative principal paid on a loan between two periods
DB Returns the depreciation of an asset for a specified period by using the fixed-declining balance method
DDB Returns the depreciation of an asset for a specified period by using the double-declining balance method or some other method that you specify
DISC Returns the discount rate for a security
DOLLARDE Converts a dollar price, expressed as a fraction, into a dollar price, expressed as a decimal number
DOLLARFR Converts a dollar price, expressed as a decimal number, into a dollar price, expressed as a fraction
DURATION Returns the annual duration of a security with periodic interest payments
EFFECT Returns the effective annual interest rate
FV Returns the future value of an investment
FVSCHEDULE Returns the future value of an initial principal after applying a series of compound interest rates
INTRATE Returns the interest rate for a fully invested security
IPMT Returns the interest payment for an investment for a given period
IRR Returns the internal rate of return for a series of cash flows
ISPMT Calculates the interest paid during a specific period of an investment
MDURATION Returns the Macauley modified duration for a security with an assumed par value of $100
MIRR Returns the internal rate of return where positive and negative cash flows are financed at different rates
NOMINAL Returns the annual nominal interest rate
NPER Returns the number of periods for an investment
NPV Returns the net present value of an investment based on a series of periodic cash flows and a discount rate
ODDFPRICE Returns the price per $100 face value of a security with an odd first period
ODDFYIELD Returns the yield of a security with an odd first period
ODDLPRICE Returns the price per $100 face value of a security with an odd last period
ODDLYIELD Returns the yield of a security with an odd last period
PMT Returns the periodic payment for an annuity
PPMT Returns the payment on the principal for an investment for a given period
PRICE Returns the price per $100 face value of a security that pays periodic interest
PRICEDISC Returns the price per $100 face value of a discounted security
PRICEMAT Returns the price per $100 face value of a security that pays interest at maturity
PV Returns the present value of an investment
RATE Returns the interest rate per period of an annuity
RECEIVED Returns the amount received at maturity for a fully invested security
SLN Returns the straight-line depreciation of an asset for one period
SYD Returns the sum-of-years’ digits depreciation of an asset for a specified period
TBILLEQ Returns the bond-equivalent yield for a Treasury bill
TBILLPRICE Returns the price per $100 face value for a Treasury bill
TBILLYIELD Returns the yield for a Treasury bill
VDB Returns the depreciation of an asset for a specified or partial period by using a declining balance method
XIRR Returns the internal rate of return for a schedule of cash flows that is not necessarily periodic
XNPV Returns the net present value for a schedule of cash flows that is not necessarily periodic
YIELD Returns the yield on a security that pays periodic interest
YIELDDISC Returns the annual yield for a discounted security; for example, a Treasury bill
YIELDMAT Returns the annual yield of a security that pays interest at maturity

Information functions

Function Description
CELL Returns information about the formatting, location, or contents of a cell
ERROR.TYPE Returns a number corresponding to an error type
INFO Returns information about the current operating environment
ISBLANK Returns TRUE if the value is blank
ISERR Returns TRUE if the value is any error value except #N/A
ISERROR Returns TRUE if the value is any error value
ISEVEN Returns TRUE if the number is even
ISLOGICAL Returns TRUE if the value is a logical value
ISNA Returns TRUE if the value is the #N/A error value
ISNONTEXT Returns TRUE if the value is not text
ISNUMBER Returns TRUE if the value is a number
ISODD Returns TRUE if the number is odd
ISREF Returns TRUE if the value is a reference
ISTEXT Returns TRUE if the value is text
N Returns a value converted to a number
NA Returns the error value #N/A
TYPE Returns a number indicating the data type of a value

Logical functions

Function Description
AND Returns TRUE if all of its arguments are TRUE
FALSE Returns the logical value FALSE
IF Specifies a logical test to perform
NOT Reverses the logic of its argument
OR Returns TRUE if any argument is TRUE
TRUE Returns the logical value TRUE

Lookup and reference functions

Function Description
ADDRESS Returns a reference as text to a single cell in a worksheet
AREAS Returns the number of areas in a reference
CHOOSE Chooses a value from a list of values
COLUMN Returns the column number of a reference
COLUMNS Returns the number of columns in a reference
GETPIVOTDATA Returns data stored in a PivotTable
HLOOKUP Looks in the top row of an array and returns the value of the indicated cell
HYPERLINK Creates a shortcut or jump that opens a document stored on a network server, an intranet, or the Internet
INDEX Uses an index to choose a value from a reference or array
INDIRECT Returns a reference indicated by a text value
LOOKUP Looks up values in a vector or array
MATCH Looks up values in a reference or array
OFFSET Returns a reference offset from a given reference
ROW Returns the row number of a reference
ROWS Returns the number of rows in a reference
RTD Retrieves real-time data from a program that supports COM automation (Automation: A way to work with an application’s objects from another application or development tool. Formerly called OLE Automation, Automation is an industry standard and a feature of the Component Object Model (COM).)
TRANSPOSE Returns the transpose of an array
VLOOKUP Looks in the first column of an array and moves across the row to return the value of a cell

Math and trigonometry functions

Function Description
ABS Returns the absolute value of a number
ACOS Returns the arccosine of a number
ACOSH Returns the inverse hyperbolic cosine of a number
ASIN Returns the arcsine of a number
ASINH Returns the inverse hyperbolic sine of a number
ATAN Returns the arctangent of a number
ATAN2 Returns the arctangent from x- and y-coordinates
ATANH Returns the inverse hyperbolic tangent of a number
CEILING Rounds a number to the nearest integer or to the nearest multiple of significance
COMBIN Returns the number of combinations for a given number of objects
COS Returns the cosine of a number
COSH Returns the hyperbolic cosine of a number
DEGREES Converts radians to degrees
EVEN Rounds a number up to the nearest even integer
EXP Returns e raised to the power of a given number
FACT Returns the factorial of a number
FACTDOUBLE Returns the double factorial of a number
FLOOR Rounds a number down, toward zero
GCD Returns the greatest common divisor
INT Rounds a number down to the nearest integer
LCM Returns the least common multiple
LN Returns the natural logarithm of a number
LOG Returns the logarithm of a number to a specified base
LOG10 Returns the base-10 logarithm of a number
MDETERM Returns the matrix determinant of an array
MINVERSE Returns the matrix inverse of an array
MMULT Returns the matrix product of two arrays
MOD Returns the remainder from division
MROUND Returns a number rounded to the desired multiple
MULTINOMIAL Returns the multinomial of a set of numbers
ODD Rounds a number up to the nearest odd integer
PI Returns the value of pi
POWER Returns the result of a number raised to a power
PRODUCT Multiplies its arguments
QUOTIENT Returns the integer portion of a division
RADIANS Converts degrees to radians
RAND Returns a random number between 0 and 1
RANDBETWEEN Returns a random number between the numbers you specify
ROMAN Converts an arabic numeral to roman, as text
ROUND Rounds a number to a specified number of digits
ROUNDDOWN Rounds a number down, toward zero
ROUNDUP Rounds a number up, away from zero
SERIESSUM Returns the sum of a power series based on the formula
SIGN Returns the sign of a number
SIN Returns the sine of the given angle
SINH Returns the hyperbolic sine of a number
SQRT Returns a positive square root
SQRTPI Returns the square root of (number * pi)
SUBTOTAL Returns a subtotal in a list or database
SUM Adds its arguments
SUMIF Adds the cells specified by a given criteria
SUMPRODUCT Returns the sum of the products of corresponding array components
SUMSQ Returns the sum of the squares of the arguments
SUMX2MY2 Returns the sum of the difference of squares of corresponding values in two arrays
SUMX2PY2 Returns the sum of the sum of squares of corresponding values in two arrays
SUMXMY2 Returns the sum of squares of differences of corresponding values in two arrays
TAN Returns the tangent of a number
TANH Returns the hyperbolic tangent of a number
TRUNC Truncates a number to an integer

Statistical functions

Function Description
AVEDEV Returns the average of the absolute deviations of data points from their mean
AVERAGE Returns the average of its arguments
AVERAGEA Returns the average of its arguments, including numbers, text, and logical values
BETADIST Returns the beta cumulative distribution function
BETAINV Returns the inverse of the cumulative distribution function for a specified beta distribution
BINOMDIST Returns the individual term binomial distribution probability
CHIDIST Returns the one-tailed probability of the chi-squared distribution
CHIINV Returns the inverse of the one-tailed probability of the chi-squared distribution
CHITEST Returns the test for independence
CONFIDENCE Returns the confidence interval for a population mean
CORREL Returns the correlation coefficient between two data sets
COUNT Counts how many numbers are in the list of arguments
COUNTA Counts how many values are in the list of arguments
COUNTBLANK Counts the number of blank cells within a range
COUNTIF Counts the number of nonblank cells within a range that meet the given criteria
COVAR Returns covariance, the average of the products of paired deviations
CRITBINOM Returns the smallest value for which the cumulative binomial distribution is less than or equal to a criterion value
DEVSQ Returns the sum of squares of deviations
EXPONDIST Returns the exponential distribution
FDIST Returns the F probability distribution
FINV Returns the inverse of the F probability distribution
FISHER Returns the Fisher transformation
FISHERINV Returns the inverse of the Fisher transformation
FORECAST Returns a value along a linear trend
FREQUENCY Returns a frequency distribution as a vertical array
FTEST Returns the result of an F-test
GAMMADIST Returns the gamma distribution
GAMMAINV Returns the inverse of the gamma cumulative distribution
GAMMALN Returns the natural logarithm of the gamma function, Γ(x)
GEOMEAN Returns the geometric mean
GROWTH Returns values along an exponential trend
HARMEAN Returns the harmonic mean
HYPGEOMDIST Returns the hypergeometric distribution
INTERCEPT Returns the intercept of the linear regression line
KURT Returns the kurtosis of a data set
LARGE Returns the k-th largest value in a data set
LINEST Returns the parameters of a linear trend
LOGEST Returns the parameters of an exponential trend
LOGINV Returns the inverse of the lognormal distribution
LOGNORMDIST Returns the cumulative lognormal distribution
MAX Returns the maximum value in a list of arguments
MAXA Returns the maximum value in a list of arguments, including numbers, text, and logical values
MEDIAN Returns the median of the given numbers
MIN Returns the minimum value in a list of arguments
MINA Returns the smallest value in a list of arguments, including numbers, text, and logical values
MODE Returns the most common value in a data set
NEGBINOMDIST Returns the negative binomial distribution
NORMDIST Returns the normal cumulative distribution
NORMINV Returns the inverse of the normal cumulative distribution
NORMSDIST Returns the standard normal cumulative distribution
NORMSINV Returns the inverse of the standard normal cumulative distribution
PEARSON Returns the Pearson product moment correlation coefficient
PERCENTILE Returns the k-th percentile of values in a range
PERCENTRANK Returns the percentage rank of a value in a data set
PERMUT Returns the number of permutations for a given number of objects
POISSON Returns the Poisson distribution
PROB Returns the probability that values in a range are between two limits
QUARTILE Returns the quartile of a data set
RANK Returns the rank of a number in a list of numbers
RSQ Returns the square of the Pearson product moment correlation coefficient
SKEW Returns the skewness of a distribution
SLOPE Returns the slope of the linear regression line
SMALL Returns the k-th smallest value in a data set
STANDARDIZE Returns a normalized value
STDEV Estimates standard deviation based on a sample
STDEVA Estimates standard deviation based on a sample, including numbers, text, and logical values
STDEVP Calculates standard deviation based on the entire population
STDEVPA Calculates standard deviation based on the entire population, including numbers, text, and logical values
STEYX Returns the standard error of the predicted y-value for each x in the regression
TDIST Returns the Student’s t-distribution
TINV Returns the inverse of the Student’s t-distribution
TREND Returns values along a linear trend
TRIMMEAN Returns the mean of the interior of a data set
TTEST Returns the probability associated with a Student’s t-test
VAR Estimates variance based on a sample
VARA Estimates variance based on a sample, including numbers, text, and logical values
VARP Calculates variance based on the entire population
VARPA Calculates variance based on the entire population, including numbers, text, and logical values
WEIBULL Returns the Weibull distribution
ZTEST Returns the one-tailed probability-value of a z-test

Text functions

Function Description
ASC Changes full-width (double-byte) English letters or katakana within a character string to half-width (single-byte) characters
BAHTTEXT Converts a number to text, using the ß (baht) currency format
CHAR Returns the character specified by the code number
CLEAN Removes all nonprintable characters from text
CODE Returns a numeric code for the first character in a text string
CONCATENATE Joins several text items into one text item
DOLLAR Converts a number to text, using the $ (dollar) currency format
EXACT Checks to see if two text values are identical
FIND, FINDB Finds one text value within another (case-sensitive)
FIXED Formats a number as text with a fixed number of decimals
JIS Changes half-width (single-byte) English letters or katakana within a character string to full-width (double-byte) characters
LEFT, LEFTB Returns the leftmost characters from a text value
LEN, LENB Returns the number of characters in a text string
LOWER Converts text to lowercase
MID, MIDB Returns a specific number of characters from a text string starting at the position you specify
PHONETIC Extracts the phonetic (furigana) characters from a text string
PROPER Capitalizes the first letter in each word of a text value
REPLACE, REPLACEB Replaces characters within text
REPT Repeats text a given number of times
RIGHT, RIGHTB Returns the rightmost characters from a text value
SEARCH, SEARCHB Finds one text value within another (not case-sensitive)
SUBSTITUTE Substitutes new text for old text in a text string
T Converts its arguments to text
TEXT Formats a number and converts it to text
TRIM Removes spaces from text
UPPER Converts text to uppercase
VALUE Converts a text argument to a number

External functions

Function Description
EUROCONVERT Converts a number to euros, converts a number from euros to a euro member currency, or converts a number from one euro member currency to another by using the euro as an intermediary (triangulation)
SQL.REQUEST Connects with an external data source and runs a query from a worksheet, then returns the result as an array without the need for macro programming
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