I stepped down from the bus carrying a bag. My eyes hunted for someone in the wondrous street. I was feeling tired dazed and sleepy. It was a busy street. Last night in the bus I was lost in the boundless realm of something which I couldn’t distinguish or comprehend. The darkness surrounded and disturbed me, but “the tomorrow “calmed my thoughts and took me to that jubilant world. As I walked my soul was raring to enter that blissful hour and suddenly in front a big hand speeded up to my shoulder tremendously, making you remark how quickly time had passed and how your distress had ended in the blink of an eye. Until meeting him my heart was fused with pain and longing but now after his touch on my body I was stimulated. I could see an ingenuous pleased smile on his face an “elated smile”. We stood facing each other. A lengthy silence ensued. I was yearning for that clear warm night full of listening star, lit by candles flickering in a breeze. We passed through the pavement holding each others hand.
Huge diffused anxiety surfaced my mind; I pressed myself close to him on our way to our room. We were given the key for room number twenty as if we were really husband and wife. We opened our room, infact it was a spacious room for us to dine. I kept my bag on the floor, he sat on the bed. While I was taking out my towel from the bag, I was watching him covertly through lowered lashes. His brown eyes were upon me. I moved towards the bathroom to fresh myself. The cold chill water from the shower made me feverish, my legs were shaking. I soothingly rubbed the soap to my body. My mind was occupied by him and I felt he was near to me giving me a bath. I came out from the bathroom. He was still sitting on the bed. I went towards the opened window watching the town; the room seemed like someone else’s hometown which had suddenly become hospitable to us, warm low light and twin beds. The sunlight came through the open window, defining his slender arms thick eyebrows and his black smooth glossy hair. He stood and came near to the open window glanced down into the street. Then we both looked out the window for a long time as if contemplating the new realm we are about to enter. Silence occupied its space which seemed to me terrible and fearful. We must have stood silently at the window for a long time, looking out like children anticipating something that was going to be fun. It was like a daydream. I felt for a moment the situation in which, I was undergoing, the town outside the window was not real but in my imagination.
I moved towards the bed and stretched out myself. He closed the window came near to me and asked in a soft voice shall we start our game? It was much later I replied to him I have never been with a man. As bodies can’t help longing for one another, we could no longer bear it and he behold me tightly kissing me for long and hard until both our bodies are consumed with fire. I was waiting for this delightful moment finally it has arrived. His downy hands caressed my breast, his eyes glittered and I craved this moment to be an incessant engagement. I kissed his withered lips and watered it making moist with my saliva. And we started our real play. It was drizzling outside; I could hear the small droplets of water thrashing the window pane which made me more thrilled. At times I was giggled by his tick lings. But at times he bit my nipple making me cry, but that cry had a soothing effect on me and he rubbed his pennies to the surrounding area of my breast watering it, when his teeth touched my black nipples, I was over the moon, it was a heavenly experience. After a prolonged time of making love, we were gasping for breath. Now I felt both our soul has become one which will never part with each other. But the thought of death disturbed my happiness. I was afraid of death. I held him tightly listening to his breathing, gazing at his regular but distinctive eyes. I spread my hair on the pillow my eyes still on his and kissed his neck and back. Suddenly I was gripped with a fantasy that the incident which is pursuing was not real. But later I regained my self. I told him I love him too much that nothing can depart us from each other and life becomes more beautiful, if in the long sojourn of my journey when he is close to me. And he kissed my lips with all his might, desire and fury, drawing blood. There was blood on my lips. I tasted the kiss on my lips. Again both of us yearn to strain, explode, and then abate. Both our eyes were moist, our bodies sweated. We were hankering for something; finally it again blissfully exploded, not too fast, not too slowly, driving both of us in to that elevated realm.
It was noon, both of us were exhausted. He touched my breast with his caressing hands and asked me is it paining? I blushed and hugged him. I murmured in his ears…the gaze that always follows me is yours, which seemed to appear in the most unlikely places only to disappear, you know how we became close to each other and I how I yearned for your gaze. He smiled gently, a little surprised, a little uncertain, but pleased. I told him to smile at me so that I can see on his face for once the radiance of that other realm. As both of us were weary and sleepy both of us slept. In my sleep, I felt his lips sucking my breast, his slender hands on my knees and his breath that smelled of siesta. Again in the sleep the bones of our lethargic thicker legs stirred our fleshy tissue with desire. I counted his breaths with awe. I opened my eyes started caressing his hair, who was still sucking my breast with that sexual passion. As he gently sucked my breast he slowly started opening his eyes, and removed his mouth from my breast. He smiled and said finally” we have made it”. I got up from the bed and moved to the bathroom leaving him behind. I came out completely dressed up. He has put on his black colored shirt and grey pant which gave him a gentleman look. I started to tell him what I had been dreaming of, he simply shook his head and he said “I will tell you what I dreamt from the park”, giving me that special smile that appeared on his face. We both came out of the room and made a quick move to a hotel. Taking the stairs of the hotel, he was close to me .We took our position in the corner of the room sitting face to face. We ordered for rice and sambhar. While eating I was bit loud in my conversation and he signaled to talk slowly. It was infact a good meal. I liked it. Obviously we would like it as we were damn hungry.
We got on the bus, got seats and settled ourselves. Next our destination was the park which he has mentioned before in his late nights conversation with me. I kept my head on his shoulder as I wished it should be always my resting place. He brought his fingers towards my ears down to the neck tickling me. Both of us glanced outside, we could see people everywhere huge buildings it was raining too. Finally we reached our goal “the park” As it was not raining too heavily we were not drenched. Since we had an umbrella we managed to walk. We entered the entrance of the park; I told him shall we close our umbrella as it is not raining heavily. He agreed. My eyes circled around the park to find a better place to sit. Finally I was able to find one. I caught hold of his hand and moved to a place. We sat on the bench which was in-between two oak trees. Many Plants were surrounded by us. I was driven in to that moment of morning hour, where I was immersed into that edge of heaven which weaved overlapping tales of friendship and sexuality into a powerful narrative of universal love. My mind began to capture the series of events that took place from morning to noon, and at times I felt guilty over what I have done. But the guilt feeling was wiped out from my mind as I felt nothing can surpass “love and sex” which makes life more beautiful and colorful. They are like an elixir of life, a never diminishing source of pleasure and delight, and endless fountain replete with joy that seemed to be like a precious gift from heavens. The God’s miracle upon human beings is great. The magic that makes life meaningful and bearable still hung in the air. The trees with raindrops on their leaves swayed and danced to the rhythm of the wind. Droplets of water from the trees showered both of us as if we were blessed by the almighty god showering his grace upon us. Birds and butterflies crossed our path like calm and serene creatures.
I was lying down on his laps and I was reminded of that moment when I had fallen in love with him. Music of the chirping birds was enveloped in a sweetly exquisite aura. It was his soft spoken voice which attracted me towards him and then it started… and my eyes began searching him, and he is the only person who is hidden in my eyelid and I always wish to be a hidden soul in his shadow. I looked in to his face I saw there a pain that creased his brow, sometimes his black eyebrows were so wrinkled that question marks that troubled me appeared in the middle of his fore head. Silence ensued between us. After four hours of our silence I told him, wish I could spend all my life with him, but it was impossible as I know. But I knew that wherever I am in this world away from him, he is my last thought at every night fall. Again when I reviewed the pages satisfied with the progress I have made, I could see with clarity the new human being into whom I was in the process of being transformed. I asked him when I will meet u next. …but there was a deep silence. I slept on .He thrusted his hands over my body. Later when I got up and sat leaning on the bench keeping my hands wide open on either side of the bench. He gently rubbed his chin to my hand. The small hair growing in his chin scratched my skin. I bemoaned him for the woes that I am undergoing because of him. He just bristled and argued in a petulant way. I was scared and a flicker of doubt stirred up my mind. He said shall we make a move. But I was reluctant to go, and both of us were really weary.
The time was 6:50, evening came on and the daylight disappeared. Grudgingly we both stood and started to move out from the park. We reached the main road and could see a throng of people. I was now bit gloomy, but I didn’t really want to remain gloomy, but I couldn’t help it and was walking in a lumbering manner. But inorder to free my self from the murky mood I gazed pensively at the sky and enjoyed with sprightliness the beauty of the sky. Soon I was calmed down. My mind was free and I was in a position to bid adieu to him, who initially was a stranger but gradually became my companion. We reached the room number twenty two. I took my bag which was kept on the floor and we both came out from the room, for the last time my eyes fell on the bed where we made love for the first time and for a moment felt that its our bedroom in our own house…which was just a dream which I alone fain to be true. Suddenly the door was closed and locked. He took my bag from my hand and we moved out and passed through the road. Within fifteen minutes we were surrounded by buses. The time was 8:30. I just caught hold of his hand tightly. The bus in which I was supposed to travel stood in front of us. My eyes welled up in tears. I looked into his eyes but couldn’t feel any kind of emotion, slowly I started to remove my hands from the clutches of his and took my bag and stepped on to the bus leaving him behind. I settled myself in the seat and looked out of the glass .The bus was about to move and he waved his hands. But I couldn’t wave my hands. As the bus started moving slowly he was disappearing from my gaze. I slept off. I was moving to and fro and suddenly I was waked up by the twittering sound of the birds. And I opened my eyes and I could realize that I am at home in my room in my bed and its morning and what I have been experiencing was just a dream.